What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Why does monistat lose effectiveness over time for individuals with chronic or recurrent vaginosis or yeast infections?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Why would a girl not want you to know she has a crush on you?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

TEXT:

My stepmother has banned me from the family. Can she legally keep me from going to my father's funeral?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Why do I have an itch in my labia, white gooey and thick discharge which doesn't have a smell but my vagina does sometimes and both me and my partner do not have STDs, what is it?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Why do some people refuse to explain their actions or behavior when asked? Why do they claim to not know the reason instead of providing an explanation?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Why do flat-earthers claim the 1967 photo of Earth from space was made with CGI, even though CGI didn't exist back then?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

What are some signs that a therapist may have poor boundaries with their clients?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Why do liberals think it is okay to steal votes while the rest of us obey the law(s)?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Would you let your son wear leggings to school?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Why do American conservatives say that America is a constitutional republic and not a democracy? Would it not make sense to call America a constitutional republican democracy?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Can you describe what it's like to live in a town known for Harley Davidson motorcycles?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!